Maybe depression If you sleep twelve hours And still are tired And can’t wait for the evening to arrive Although you just got up Yet another day to get through
Yet another day
That’s not you You are happy go lucky You are relaxed Undemanding Thrifty Funny Warm Smart and Smartass Caring Cheeky Passionate Grateful Always Learning Moving Reinventing Embracing life Joy The little moments
Yet another day is looming You can’t bear to face Another day Where institutional abuse Is perpetuated By government bodies By family court Another day The voice of a father is silenced
The louder that silence becomes The louder is your pain
And I am scared So scared That maybe That one day Is a day You won’t be able to face
The last two weeks were spend camping in the Outer Hebrides in Scotland. Whilst kayaking and walking there were many moments for reflections and insights, I am going to share in poetry and blog form. I am also really excited to share some of my experiments with you. Working with the environment we were in, I created a ‘Washed Away’ mini-series around themes that follow abuse, such as shame, and fear. And another one focusing on taking a closer look. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the images and sounds, and laugh, cry and think with me as usual.
Today I am not sharing my own work, but the work of my partner. He has worked in light-design for over 17 years, and on parental alienation day 2019, finally decided to create his own designs. The development took about a month, and as any good perfectionist, there are much more and more sophisticated things to be done if there would have been more time. The LED screen is 7×2 meters.
I interviewed dad erased before the live stream.
What was your inspiration?
I wanted to use colour and movement within the words displayed to highlight my own personal fears, anxieties, worries, and hate (anger) in dealing with parental alienation What inspired me were a lot of the words from various Twitter, Facebook, Blogs account of people talking about their own experiences of dealing with Parental Alienation and how they miss their kids, and the fights they have with systems that are adversarial; who choose to have a winner and a looser.
The other part of the inspiration (or admiration) is how, even after 10/12 years of battling with everything being against them in most cases they eventually are able to have an ongoing relationship with their kids. The saddest ones I have not talked about are the relationships that have not been fixed, the utterly completely broken relationships, and how it affects the targeted parents and the children as well, and sometimes it doesn’t get fixed, and it is such a loss of time, such a loss of time.
How did you go about developing the installation?
How I have done it is: this is just a tiny glimpse into how I feel about parental alienation. There is so much more that you could say; you could spend years researching PA and come up with so many different scenarios and situations and feelings and words. What I am trying to say is … the more I get into it; the more feeling I get behind it, and hopefully I can express better how I deal with it or how I am not dealing with it as an alienated parent myself.
What do you want to achieve?
I want to give a voice to the unseen who are lost in an adversarial system who chooses to establish winners and losers, and ultimately fails our children.
This is the glossary for the Abbreviations Section:
SAID – Sexual Allegations in Divorce CIAF – Child Impact Assessment Service VotC – Voice of the Child CMS – Child Maintenance Service CSA – Child Support Agency PASG – Parental Alienation Study Group PAAO – Parental Alienation Awareness Organisation Cafcass – Children and family court advisory and support Service NAAP – National Association of Alienated Parents MATCH – Mothers apart from their children FNF – Families need Fathers JUMP – Jewish Unity for Multiple Parenting FPS – Family Psychology Solutions DADs – Dads Against Double Standards PAPA – Parents Against Parental Alienation F4J – Fathers for justice SPARK – Support for the Parentally Alienated thru Random Acts of Kindness PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder WHO – World Health Organisation AAPA – Association Against Parental Alienation PAS – Parental Alienation Syndrome SPAN – Stop Parental Alienation Now PAWWSG – Parental Alienation World Wide Support Group FRI – Fathers Rights Ireland EAPAP – European Association of Parental Alientation Practitioners PAAA – Parental Alienation Awareness Association HAP – Hostile Aggressive Parenting PAA – Parental Alienation Awareness NAOPAS – National Association of Parental Alienation Specialists PASI – PAS Intervention NPO – National Parents Organization NPAF – NATIONAL PARENTAL ALIENATION FOUNDATION CSPAS – Canadian Symposium For Parental Alienation Syndrome PAD – Parental Alienation Disorder ECTHR – European Court of Human Rights ECHR – European Convention of Human Rights HRA – Human Rights Act Unicef – UN Convention on the Rights of the Child PEF – Platform for Europeans Fathers ICD-11 – WHO International Classification of Diseases JM2P – I Love My 2 Parents APIPDF – Association for Parental Equality and Children’s Rights BOLD – bubbles of love day HCS – High Conflict Separations CAFE – Canadian Association for Equality