Maybe Depression

Maybe depression
If you sleep twelve hours
And still are tired
And can’t wait for the evening to arrive
Although you just got up
Yet another day to get through

Yet another day

That’s not you
You are happy go lucky
You are relaxed
Smart and
Embracing life
The little moments

Yet another day is looming
You can’t bear to face
Another day
Where institutional abuse
Is perpetuated
By government bodies
By family court
Another day
The voice of a father is silenced

The louder that silence becomes
The louder is your pain

And I am scared
So scared
That maybe
That one day
Is a day
You won’t be able to face

Outer Hebrides

The last two weeks were spend camping in the Outer Hebrides in Scotland. Whilst kayaking and walking there were many moments for reflections and insights, I am going to share in poetry and blog form. I am also really excited to share some of my experiments with you. Working with the environment we were in, I created a ‘Washed Away’ mini-series around themes that follow abuse, such as shame, and fear. And another one focusing on taking a closer look. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy the images and sounds, and laugh, cry and think with me as usual.

view from my kayak

Parental Alienation Day: Live Light Installation

Today I am not sharing my own work, but the work of my partner. He has worked in light-design for over 17 years, and on parental alienation day 2019, finally decided to create his own designs. The development took about a month, and as any good perfectionist, there are much more and more sophisticated things to be done if there would have been more time. The LED screen is 7×2 meters.

Background Interview

I interviewed dad erased before the live stream.

What was your inspiration?

I wanted to use colour and movement within the words displayed to highlight my own personal fears, anxieties, worries, and hate (anger) in dealing with parental alienation What inspired me were a lot of the words from various Twitter, Facebook, Blogs account of people talking about their own experiences of dealing with Parental Alienation and how they miss their kids, and the fights they have with systems that are adversarial; who choose to have a winner and a looser.

The other part of the inspiration (or admiration) is how, even after 10/12 years of battling with everything being against them in most cases they eventually are able to have an ongoing relationship with their kids. The saddest ones I have not talked about are the relationships that have not been fixed, the utterly completely broken relationships, and how it affects the targeted parents and the children as well, and sometimes it doesn’t get fixed, and it is such a loss of time, such a loss of time.

How did you go about developing the installation?

How I have done it is: this is just a tiny glimpse into how I feel about parental alienation. There is so much more that you could say; you could spend years researching PA and come up with so many different scenarios and situations and feelings and words. What I am trying to say is … the more I get into it; the more feeling I get behind it, and hopefully I can express better how I deal with it or how I am not dealing with it as an alienated parent myself.

What do you want to achieve?

I want to give a voice to the unseen who are lost in an adversarial system who chooses to establish winners and losers, and ultimately fails our children.

This is the glossary for the Abbreviations Section:

SAID – Sexual Allegations in Divorce
CIAF – Child Impact Assessment Service
VotC – Voice of the Child
CMS – Child Maintenance Service
CSA – Child Support Agency
PASG – Parental Alienation Study Group
PAAO – Parental Alienation Awareness Organisation
Cafcass – Children and family court advisory and support Service
NAAP – National Association of Alienated Parents
MATCH – Mothers apart from their children
FNF – Families need Fathers
JUMP – Jewish Unity for Multiple Parenting
FPS – Family Psychology Solutions
DADs – Dads Against Double Standards
PAPA – Parents Against Parental Alienation
F4J – Fathers for justice
SPARK – Support for the Parentally Alienated thru Random Acts of Kindness
PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
WHO – World Health Organisation
AAPA – Association Against Parental Alienation
PAS – Parental Alienation Syndrome
SPAN – Stop Parental Alienation Now
PAWWSG – Parental Alienation World Wide Support Group
FRI – Fathers Rights Ireland
EAPAP – European Association of Parental Alientation Practitioners
PAAA – Parental Alienation Awareness Association
HAP – Hostile Aggressive Parenting
PAA – Parental Alienation Awareness
NAOPAS – National Association of Parental Alienation Specialists
PASI – PAS Intervention
NPO – National Parents Organization
CSPAS – Canadian Symposium For Parental Alienation Syndrome
PAD – Parental Alienation Disorder
ECTHR – European Court of Human Rights
ECHR – European Convention of Human Rights
HRA – Human Rights Act
Unicef – UN Convention on the Rights of the Child
PEF – Platform for Europeans Fathers
ICD-11 – WHO International Classification of Diseases
JM2P – I Love My 2 Parents
APIPDF – Association for Parental Equality and Children’s Rights
BOLD – bubbles of love day
HCS – High Conflict Separations
CAFE – Canadian Association for Equality


The heart of a lion in winter
Compassion galore
Empathy in oodles

Smile like the sun
Like the sister

Gentle giant becoming
Fierce warrior gawky
Diamon uncut

Sadnes like a cloud of dust
Surrounds you always

Your responsibility is your life
Not hers
Not his

Stay safe
In an ocean of madness

You are missed always
Every day
Every hour

Old lion’s grey mane
Shaggy grief
Leaves traces in the dust

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