poetry and mixed media art
The Darkness Within
You need to face shadow work
Go into the darkness
Walk the path until it has become invisible
And then keep walking
For in the darkness lies your truth
Keep walking
Keep embracing
Keep forgiving
Yourself
Your perpetrators
Your demons
Keep walking
Where there is light
There is shadow
Lest we forget
What is lurking
Bring a candle along
On your walk
And love yourself
Through space and time
When light fails to penetrate the darkness
Love always will
In your heart
In your mind
In your soul
No sun ever reaches
No smile ever breaches
No warmth ever teaches
You love
Feeling
Empathy
You always hate
Just hate
Just petiness
Just anger
Just spite
You are lost in perpetual darkness
And you are too scared to come into the light
Children leave deep imprints in your soul
No matter how long they were with you
Or if they only ever were:
could have beens,
almost theres,
come and gones
Their traces
Last forever
Alienated or empty nest
A wish unfulfilled
Or an attempt gone wrong
There are deep footprints
In an empty space
When we were on holiday, I was experimenting with writing in nature–or writing with nature. The ebb and flow of the ocean, having to relent to the power of the water, made me contemplate the ever changing nature of our environment but also our selves. I thought what if we just relent, let go, let go of pain, fear, guild, shame? Let the waves wash them away? Wash away hate. Wash away your sorrow.
I tried to write down the themes that often burden survivors of trauma.
Verlustangst = fear of loosing, usually a loved one
Unzulänglichkeit = the feeling of inadequacy
Pain
Shame
Sorrow
Fear
Then set up a time lapse of the incoming tide washing away the writing in the sand. Wash away the pain. Wash away the sorrow. Wash away the shame.
‘But it’s raining.’
You say.
But could I sway;
You to see that the sun is always shining behind the clouds?
‘But it’s cold.’
You say.
But could I sway;
You to understand that exposure will strengthen your spirit?
‘But it’s a bother.’
You say.
But could I sway;
You to learn that you won’t grow in your comfort zone?
‘But it’s not fair.’
You say.
But could I sway;
You to let go of self-victimization and not hide behind excuses?
‘But I am so angry.’
You say.
But could I sway;
You not to feed that wolf but nourish your soul?
Could I sway you,
Just a little bit,
To change your perspective,
For your own healing?
Mesmerized
Merciful
Beauty in being
And where love is, there is light
And where light is, there is healing
Warmth
Wonder
Bathed in love
Be whoever you want to
Be whatever you take hold of
In your heart
In your soul
In your mind
Just hold onto
Do a cartwheel
Dance around the house
Bake a cake
Snuggle your cat
Run 10k
Read a book
Punch a bag
Hike up a mountain
Draw a picture
Eat some chocolate
Live mercifully
Be mesmerized
See the beauty
Be warm
See the wonders
Love yourself
Watch out for your righteousness
It can turn
So very easily
Into self-righteous adulation
Of ego
Watch out for your lies
Your hunger for power
Can turn your win
So easily
Into a loss you cannot predict
Watch out for your hate
It poisons your soul
Each day
You feed it
Until the darkness has swallowed you
Watch out for your greed
Your need to own
To have, to stuff, to fill
You never know
Who holds the keys to these shakles
Watch out for your infidelities
They take
Much more
Than you think
Are you able to pay this bill
Watch out for your envy
Your bitterness
Your bile
Do you want to be beholden
To such masters
Watch out for your laziness
Idle gossip
Your refusal to live
Just sit
And permit the darkness to permeate
